Thursday, January 28, 2010

tired happy confident

Umm.  Life is a bit of a marathon just now, as I'm finishing the one job and beginning the other at the same time.  Work and sleep,without very big intervals between.

I did work out this morning.  Treadmill again.  I'm liking it more than I did.  Also: the new job requires me to walk around the building fairly frequently.  That is MUCH better for my back (and general health) than stuck in the chair all day.  I'm lovin' it.

Last night during the State of the Union speech, I cozied up to the tape measure.  A few numbers were exactly the same, and quite a few of them were smaller (some by only less than a centimeter, some by almost 2 inches.)  One was bigger, which only goes to prove I lack skills at measuring my bust by myself.  Oh well.  

My calories should have come out okay today, I think.  Usual pre-workout and breakfast foods.  Amazing lunch at work included swordfish with lemon juice, wild rice, and lightly steamed broccoli (all in very appropriately sized proportions) with a glass of water.  I stuck to one reasonable plate of supper at my sister's house.  The only indulgence was a decent-sized rice krispy bar with some kind of butterscotch on/in it.  I am way too tired to figure out calories; I shoulda been in bed already. 

Last note:  yesterday (or was it the day before that?) I got a killer deal on a clearanced jacket (originally $89; I paid just under $14).  I am feeling so good about my progress that I bought the jacket in 3 sizes.  After all, with this job I will ALWAYS need a good black jacket, and I definitely intend to shrink 2 or more sizes before I am done.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

retracking tracking & future snacking

The bad news:  it's Wednesday night and I haven't blogged any diet or exercise this week.

The good news:  I have done serious workouts every day this week.  AND I have been careful about my food, too, though I haven't written it down.

Starting a new job makes tracking everything hard.  Unlike my previous jobs, I can't get online and do a "quick entry" at this one - I am away from the internet (other than work emails) from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.   And for the hour before and after.  

Pondering what to do about that.

Maybe I'll need to carry a little notebook and track it by hand.  


I am training right now, which means I follow the my predecessor around all day and do what she does.  She is not a snacker.  So I'm not able to grab a couple of light snacks a day, which is really optimal for weight control.  I get awfully hungry by lunch!  But the training is only a couple of weeks; after that I'll load my office up with healthy quick snacks and solve that problem.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

not stopping. not stopping. NOT STOPPING!!!

Okay I just realized I haven't been to this page since mid-Wednesday.  This is Sunday night.  NOT GOOD!!!

Better news:  I've been pretty consistent with the workouts.  My eating has been variable but overall reasonable...I THINK. 

I had a physical for my new job on Friday; if that scale matches the one at the YMCA, I've lost 6 pounds.  I need to check.  Maybe I'll get cozy with the tape measure tonight, too.

Lots in the works in my life.  New job.  New place (when I find one) in a new town.  Lots to process.  I need to not let the getting-in-shape resolution get smashed under the wheels of the change bus.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

back in the saddle

Okay.  I'm better enough to be back to real life today.

Breakfast in the usual yummy rut:  1 slice toast (110) with 1 tbsp Smucker's Natural Peanut Butter, chunky (105) and homemade apple butter (10), along with a big mug of hot tea with sugar and milk (65).

Had half a power bar (105) half an hour before my workout (and water of course.)

Workout was 30 minutes on the treadmill.  I used the programming more effectively than I have to this point; the "cardio" setting worked me through 300 calories!  How cool is that?!  

Snack when I got home was cinnamon toast (160). 

The world is an icy sheet.  Hiding inside (though I have to go back out again, somehow, tonight, to work.)

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

uninformative/skip day sort of thing

No food summary today.  I had an unusual day with unexpected good news and it was just different all the way around.  I know for sure that I blew my calories, but that's okay...I was being kind of celebratory and whatnot.  

Didn't work out today because I was still feeling pretty puny when I woke up.  Telling myself tonight that I need to focus on being well enough to work out tomorrow.  Can't slip off this good habit before it even has a chance to get started. 

Monday, January 18, 2010

unexciting summary

Took my biggest travel mug full of hot tea with sugar and milk (195) to work; it helped with the throat and whatnot.  

Lunch was a chicken pot pie (370) because I was in a hurry and in no mood to think (note to self:  I always feel the need to justify the pot pie...consider stopping with the pot pies already.) Nice glass of skim milk with it (95). 

Afternoon snack (other than tons of water) was half a power bar (105).

Supper was a big steak, broiled (275), garlic bread (150), mashed potatoes (80) with brown gravy (44), green beans (10) and a glass of skim milk (90).  Made special dinner because my son is waiting to see if he's being sent to Haiti for earthquake cleanup.  It makes a mom want to be sweet, you know?

Calorie total for the day, then, is 1869.

I did not work out today because I'm still feeling pretty puny.  Letting the body heal.

beginning to recover

Good news:  Saturday night, I did not binge.  I was done with calories after that last post.  Mostly because I wasn't awake much longer.

I slept that night in the recliner, since my attempt to lie down just resulted in a lot of choking.  Rough night of sleep.  I still felt so terrible in the morning that I stayed home - no church, even.  Spent my day in a fog of sleeping and reading.  I didn't track my diet closely, but I think it was fine.  I remember a whole pot of tea with sugar and milk, half a jug of apple juice, usual (peanut butter toast) breakfast, and lunch and supper were both that homemade soup with crackers and half a grilled cheese sandwich.  Didn't snack at all; the fluids were what I needed.  

I was able to sleep last night in my bed.  OH BOY does that feel good after a night of not.

Got up at 4:45 this morning.  Well rested, since my nose and throat were at peace through the night.  When I woke up, THEY woke up.  Thank God for Puffs with lotion.  Sneeze, sneeze, cough, blow, blow.  Story of my life right now.  I took some Claritin and am (im)patiently waiting for the effect to kick in a bit.  Gotta be at work very soon.  Taking a tankard of hot tea with sugar and milk with me; I'll refill with juice for the afternoon, on my lunch break.  I can do this.  

Breakfast was the usual.  1 slice toast (110) with 1 tbsp Smucker's Natural Peanut Butter, chunky (105) and homemade apple butter (10), along with a big mug of hot tea with sugar and milk (65).  And then another tea too (65).  Apple juice (100) while writing this.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

soup n crackers soup n crackers

Nursed a class of orange juice (120) all afternoon, to keep the throat from icking up.

Supper:  soup (200), half a grilled cheese sandwich (160), 10 chicken flavored crackers (150), cup of orange juice (120).

Total so far today:    1505

I didn't work out again today, since I still feel like road kill.  So I'll need to be careful not to binge and push the calories skyward in my self-pitying state. 

blechy saturday

Still feeling quite un-wonderful.  Up at 5:30 this morning because I couldn't breathe well and was tired of choking.  

Breakfast was 1 slice toast (110) with 1 tbsp Smucker's Natural Peanut Butter, chunky (105) and homemade apple butter (10), along with a big mug of hot tea with sugar and milk (65).

Worked the morning shift at the Y.  Nursed a super-sized mug of hot tea with sugar and milk (130) the first 2 hours.  Half a power bar (105) partway thru.

Lunch was a big bowl of that homemade soup (200) and 10 chicken flavored crackers (150).

I have an overwhelming urge to eat and eat.  I think I'm just craving comfort because I feel wretched.  Better go do something else (sleep?  maybe...) that will get me out of the kitchen. 

Friday, January 15, 2010


Chicken pot pie (370) 

1810 is the running total for the day.

getting through

Had another partial bowl of soup in the afternoon (100) and 5 saltines (60) with one cup of orange juice (120).  

Early evening:  1 slice toast (110) with 1 tbsp Smucker's Natural Peanut Butter, chunky (105) and homemade apple butter (10), along with a big mug of hot tea with sugar and milk (65).

Switched types of med from Dayquil to 24-hour Claritin, per my mom's advice.  Here's hoping for improvement.  

At 1440 calories thus far today.

whining out the summary

I'b sick.  My froat herts. By sinuses are draining.  Whiny fer shur.  Wahhhhh!!!!

No workout today.  I know some hardcore sorts who say push through and you'll be better.  Research shows me that's only true for the sniffles.  I'm sicker than sniffles by a lot.  No workout today.  

4 a.m. juice so I could breathe and not choke - 1 cup Grape/Cranberry (130)

Cinnamon toast (160) for breakfast with another cup of that juice (130)

Homemade chicken soup for lunch.  Hard to figure the calories; in the big pan were 1 chicken leg quarter (cooked 7 hours), a bunch of turnips and carrots, a few brussels sprouts, a lot of salt, bouillon and pepper, a bay leaf, and a very few noodle rings of the spaghettio like shape.  Looks to me like the whole giant bowl shouldn't have been more than 200 calories tops (and that's probably guessing way high.)  Also had 10 saltines (120) and another cup of that juice (130). 

So it's just after one and I'm at 870 calories.  I'm kind of too sick to care right now about my success or failure in the diet arena today. 

Thursday, January 14, 2010

aghkghkghhhhh my throat....

This afternoon contained 6 large mugs of hot tea with sugar and milk (390).  Darn this river of drainage in the back of my throat!

Ran late getting home from Bible study tonight; the son was gone when I got here.  So I ate leftovers, kind of:  tacos.  

4 hard shells (240)
1 cup black beans (220)
1/4 cup lean ground beef (95)

2 tbsp salsa (8)

Drinking water, chewing gum, taking medicine, trying desperately to head this wicked icky off before it settles deep into me.  Argh.  If something doesn't take effect soon, I'll be sleeping in the recliner tonight so I don't choke all night.  Looks like I'm going soup shopping tomorrow, as soon as I get my paycheck.

Not really caring about calories in my life at this moment, but I'll stop and count them anyway.  


eating in front of others, and lunch

I worked 10-1; awkward working right through ALL of my possible lunch times.  I took an apple and a power bar along for snacks, but didn't eat either; there were consistently a lot of people at the front desk.  The reason that matters to me:  I find that some people are utterly unruffled if you eat around them.  They barely notice, or of they do, it's in a minimal/pleasant way.  And then there are other people...even some people I like VERY MUCH...who respond differently.  Who watch with sort of an icky fascination...I can see the measuring of amounts of food and spare pounds on this bod...the processing within, all while trying to act like it's nothing...and it really makes eating in front of them Not a Pleasant Thing.  I don't know this to be true of ANY of the very nice people who were around my desk today; it was the unknown "will they be cool, or will they make me feel like Jabba the Hut while I eat" factor.  So I didn't have any snack.  

Came home HUNGRY!  Default setting:  leftovers!

3 hard shells (180)
1/2 cup refried beans (140)
1/4 cup lean ground beef (95)

1/4 cup tomatoes (8)

And a glass of diet coke (yeah, it's not good for me...but it's calorie free!!)

I feel ickiness in the back of my throat, like maybe I'm trying to get a cold.  I don't want a cold.  

Gonna go make me some hot tea to help the throat.  But first:  calories for the day thus far...


Okay, that's room to work. 

accidental addition of workout time WOO HOO!

I really did not want to work out this morning.

With my tummy squishy last night, I resolved to sleep until I woke up, without help from the radio.  I rolled out of bed about 7 a.m.  My legs felt like lead.  I DID NOT want to work out this morning.  

But I drank some water (skipped the Acai...think I'll leave it alone again today and see about the tummy), ate half a power bar (105) and got myself to the YMCA, bad attitude and all.  Mark that one as a victory.

Did 15 minutes on the treadmill, at 2.5 miles per hour, most of it at a pretty decent incline.  I'm not very good with the treadmills yet, so I didn't figure out how to get a calorie reading in my slow-brained status.  

Then I switched to the recumbent and hit it HARD.  A funny thing happened...I started talking to a friend and forgot to look at the panel.  So then I accidentally went 5 minutes over my time...did 20 minutes total.  And then I was so pleased at that accident that I forgot to check calories burned.  LOL

Anyway, I'm glad the workout is out of the way.  Still need to get a headset...Sara Palin is on Fox news and I am just not going there.  Need a headset.  Need it NOW.  

Breakfast when I got home: 1 slice toast (110) with 1 tbsp Smucker's Natural Peanut Butter, chunky (105) and homemade apple butter (10), along with a big mug of hot tea with sugar and milk (65).

Working unexpectedly today.  Better go find the shower.  

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

leftovers mmmmmm warmth

Found some leftover sausage gravy (392) in the fridge and had it with a slice of toast (110).  I know gravy is not good weight loss food.  But the warm in my tummy...ooooooo that feels so much better.  

Total for the day (done eating, for sure):  1742

still squishy

My tummy trouble lasted all day; keeping it warm seemed to ease the pain a bit, so I stayed mostly under a blanket in the recliner.  Still went to work, because I don't feel SICK, just in pain.  Tired from opening the Y, though; I had a nice nap in the afternoon.

I told the lovely daughter about my abdominal woes and she intoned, "Does this have to do with colon cleansing?"  Eh.  Probably.  Though I wonder why the Acai would have taken 8 days before this effect.  I dunno.  Playing it safe and not taking it tonight, since the tummy still hurts (skipping my vitamins too, since sometimes they bother my stomach mildly and I've had enough, thanks.)  

Truth:  I had less pain while at work than before that.  Dunno if that  means it's getting better or simply that I notice it more keenly when I'm less distracted.  Not enjoying pondering that. 

Hot soup for lunch really helped a lot.  Chicken noodle, the whole can (150) and 10 saltines (120).  

Afternoon snack before work was 2 slices cinnamon toast (320)...I am back to 110 calorie-per-slice bread (it was what was on the Wal-Mart shelf)...and a big mug of hot tea with sugar and milk (65); that heat also helped.  

Worked tonight.  My appetite has been way down today (thank God); I'm a little hungry, but not what I'd expect for having no supper.  Gonna count my calories and then consider bedtime supper.  

Okay, so I'm at 1240 for the day.  This means I can eat (with the way my tummy feels, very little danger that I'd overdo at this point.)

squishy tummy and spinner bike

This was my morning to open the Y.  Oh, how I love to hate the wee hour of the day...

Breakfast was 1 slice toast (80) with 1 tbsp Smucker's Natural Peanut Butter, chunky (105) and homemade apple butter (10) with a cup of skim milk (90).

Pre-workout snack was half a power bar (105). 

Workout when I got off at 8 a.m. was 15 minutes on the ellipical (1 mile, 167 calories), 8 minutes on the spin bike (no readouts of any kind), and 8 minutes on the recumbent machine (50 calories).  Call me sweaty Betty.  I am pretty clueless about the spin bike...wonder how it's any different than a stationary bike.  Maybe I'll go read up a bit.

I've had slight "abdominal distress" last night and this morning.  I dunno if I ate something or if the acai tablets have an accumulative effect or if I'm just feeling girly.  Snack afterward seems to be soothing it a bit.  Cinnamon toast (130) and hot tea with sugar and milk (65).  

Reminding myself not to repeat yesterday's calorie spectacular!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

and crashing past the limits she merrily goes...

So I was REALLY hungry at afternoon snack.  Had 2 tacos. 

2 hard shells (120)
1/4 cup refried beans (70)
1/4 cup lean ground beef (95)
2 tbsp shredded cheddar (100)

1/4 cup tomatoes (8)

Youth church is always that killer combo of cheap carbs and fats.  Tonight was no exception.  I on portion control.  Coulda been better, but sure coulda been worse. 

4 link sausages (856) (WAIT...WHAT?!)

big helping of mac-n-cheese  (410) (uh-oh..)

half cup of kool aid  (30)

french vanilla cake (240) with 
apple pie topping (100) and
whipped cream (100)

Cue the ominous music....calories for the day....


Let's note today as "a learning by trying day" and put it behind us.


Lunch:  half a can of tomato soup (125) made with mostly skim milk (90), grilled cheese sandwich (300), 5 saltines (60), 5 baby carrots (20), and half a small apple (40).  Water to drink.  Got so busy studying Latin that it was WAYYYYYYY past lunch time when I ate.  Enough that it was hard to think.  Now it's been an hour and a half and I'm Very Hungry again.  Hm.  Better have a snack before youth church.  Here's hoping I can be good at youth church!

work them knees

I behaved myself last night.  No snacks.  Pretty easy; I was in bed by 8 p.m. (3:45 a.m. wakeup kicks my butt.)  It's hard to be naughty in one's sleep. 

Half a power bar (105) kick-started the bod so I could do my workout (along with a bunch of water, which is getting easier as I go.)

Workout this morning:  15 minutes on the elliptical, which took me just over a mile and burned 200 calories.  Then I switched to the recumbent machine, on which I wildly varied speed and tension for 15 minutes.  This netted me 100 calories.  I'm going to keep using the recumbent machine; these knees have had some troubles over the years (longterm overweight of course wreaks havoc on knees), and the pain I experience on that machine feels like it's working out the muscles all around my knees.  Seems like a smart thing to do.  

Next time I have the money, I need to invest in a whatchamadingy thingy to listen to the televisions at the Y through headphones.  I can't take much more Fox news, and it seems to be the program of choice for those who turn the volume up.  With 3 TVs in there, I can make a better choice.  This part of the experience just reinforces for me daily why I don't have TV in my home and don't want it.

Breakfast when I got home was 1 slice toast (80) with 1 tbsp Smucker's Natural Peanut Butter, chunky (105) and homemade crabapple jelly (50), and a big mug of hot tea with sugar and milk (65).

Monday, January 11, 2010


I'm feeling really pleased at having remembered my vitamins every day for a full week.  Gotta keep hammering on that until it becomes second nature.

Afternoon snack was cinnamon toast (130) with water.  


4 oz grilled (on the Foreman) chicken (120)
lovely pile of leftover rice (250) with soy sauce (love that stuff)
handful of baby carrots (24)
lettuce & tomato salad (20) w/tomato bacon dressing (60)
cup of skim milk (45)


What's that make my total for the day?


So I can have a snack later, if I will be reasonable.

recumbent addition and summary

Breakfast at 4 a.m. was 1 slice toast (80) with 1 tbsp Smucker's Natural Peanut Butter, chunky (105) and homemade crabapple jelly (50), and 1 cup of skim milk (45).

Snack was half a power bar (105).

Worked out when I got off work at 10 a.m.  First ten minutes on the elliptical, which burnt 100 calories quick and easy.  Then I did twenty minutes on the recumbent machine.  That was fun and a nice change of pace.  Being my first time ever, it was definitely a learning experience and I'll approach it more confidently next time.  I was worried it would be "lazy" exercising, because it's in a seated position.  But I definitely kept my pulse and respiration at cardio levels the whole time.  I burned about 150 calories.  I'm beginning to perceive the elliptical machine as the "rock star" of exercise...I burn calories so much faster and easier on it...IF those numbers can be trusted.  But I'll be using the recumbent machine some more; variety is good, and I could feel muscles being fatigued on it that I don't feel AT ALL on the elliptical.  Variety is the spice of life, eh?

Lunch was tacos with the son.  Rather a feast.  
4 hard shells (240)
1/2 cup refried beans (140)
1/2 cup lean ground beef (190) 
1/2 cup tomatoes (16)
1/2 cup lettuce (4)
2 tbsp shredded cheddar (100)
And a glass of water.

Let's stop and evaluate where I am, calorie wise, at this point....


Feeling fine about that!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

all in one fell swoop

And here I am, summarizing an entire day in one post.  This is not smart.  But it's Sunday, so I won't be too hard on me.

Breakfast was 1 slice toast (the nutty oat ran out, so now I have Healthy Choice 7 grain bread yummmm)(80) with 1 tbsp Smucker's Natural Peanut Butter, chunky (105) and homemade crabapple jelly (got a little out of control with the spreading of the jelly) (100), and 1 cup of skim milk (45). 

Lunch was leftover chili (525) and half a grilled cheese sandwich (160) with 1 cup skim milk (45).

Afternoon snack was 2 big mugs of tea with sugar and milk (130) and a slice of cinnamon toast (130). 

Supper was one serving of cheeseburger macaroni (360), a lettuce/tomato salad (20) with garlic vinagrette dressing (64) and a bit of parmesan/romano cheese (20).  Water to drink.  

So my calories for the day were:  1784

I did not work out today at all, so those seem like good numbers.  No snacks tonight!

final note from yesterday

So much for my good intentions last night.  I ended up making sugar-free chocolate fudge pudding...and eating 2 servings of it (160)...with half a banana stirred in (40).  Not because I was that hungry, but just because it was sweet and chocolate and I was so not in impulse control mode.

I felt overly full, generally icky, and mad at myself afterwards.

The good news:  I was still well within my caloric limits.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

numbers from machines and erosion of trust

Snacks at work:  diet pepsi, small banana (80) and 1/2 power bar (100)

Varied my workout tonight; I got on the treadmill.  I hate the treadmill.  It feels like working harder than the legs are heavier, I breathe harder, I sweat more, and I can hear my heart pounding in my ears.  Meanwhile, according to the machine my pulse is slower than on the elliptical and I am burning fewer calories by a lot.  30 minutes netted me 200 calories, and just a tiny bit over a mile of distance (with varying speeds and inclines).

So one of the machines is lying to me, and I don't know which.  Ergh.

Guess I'll have to just do 30 minutes daily and trust the process.  

Supper tonight:  enormous bowl of homemade chili (made with ground turkey, black beans, tomatoes, tomato juice, garlic, red peppers, hot peppers from my garden/the freezer, onion, and chili powder) (525) YUMMMMMMM.  Also, 1 cup skim milk (90) and half a grilled cheese sandwich (160) ...isn't it nice of my son to split it with me?

Calories for the day are at 1790.  I might snack, but not a lot...after all, on the off chance that neither machine is lying to me, I burned about half the calories I usually do on the workout today...

quick lunch summary

Nice morning of studying.  Studying too long to bother cooking before I get ready for work.  Last of the leftovers for lunch: 1 cup jasmine rice (205), 4 meatballs (300) with cream of mushroom soup (25)

breakfast calculation under blanket

The good news is that the hungries did not chase me into sleep; what a spectacularly restful night.  But I definitely woke up still hungry hungry hungry.  I got through my 8 oz of water pretty quickly, despite the gagginess.  

Breakfast was my usual predictable choice: 1 slice toast (110) with 1 tbsp Smucker's Natural Peanut Butter, chunky (105) and homemade crabapple jelly (50), and 1 cup of skim milk (45). 

Changing my workout time today; I have to work 1-5 at the Y and I can't see going out into the cold before that.  So my plan is to work out directly after I close the Y.  I'm a little worried about follow-thru, but dude it is COLD out and I am tired of it just now.  We'll see how this goes.

Friday, January 8, 2010

dang...bedtime summary

Okay I HATE reconstructing a day at bedtime.  But I feel like I need to stay after this, cuz my downhill slides tend to be wicked.  Let's see.  I was at 355 calories for the day as of my previous post.  

Had lunch out with my mom - Chinese buffet.  Ate a big plate of all sorts of meat/veggie dishes (random calorie guess:  400), with only about 1/3 cup of pork fried rice (110).  Also enjoyed hot & sour soup, along with water and hot tea.  

Had a small banana (90) and 1/4 oz (literally, 2 small bites) extra sharp cheddar cheese (27) for afternoon snack.

Supper at a friend's house:  reduced fat wheat crackers (130) with spinach dip (100), salad (10) with ranch dressing (100), spaghetti (300), and garlic bread (250).

Hot chocolate with whipped cream (along with good conversation) (300).

Total for the day....


I am soooooooooooooooooo hungry and it's 10:38 pm.  Pondering whether to eat or try to sleep it off.  

**EDIT**  I remembered I forgot to count the hot and sour soup (159).  That puts my daily total to 2331.

I had better just call it a day.

workout and a banana

Well I stayed with the elliptical again today (not doing very good on "varying my workout.")  In 30 minutes I went exactly 2 miles and burned 345 calories.  

When I got home, I spent about 30 minutes with the snow shovel (the wind WILL NOT WIN!!) so I have definitely gotten the fullness of workout accomplished today.  

Snack before I head off to be productive:  1 small banana (90)

Bracing for the cold.

good morning frozen arctic tundra

I'm up, but the wind chill news and such is discouraging me from going out before dawn.  Gonna sit here at my computer and watch the sunrise, and THEN when it seems safe I'll head directly out to the workout.  

The water for washing down the acai tablets was an easier go than usual this morning.  Whew.

Breakfast is 1 slice toast (110) with 1 tbsp Smucker's Natural Peanut Butter, chunky (105) and homemade crabapple jelly (50).  I'd have milk with it, but I'm out.  Note to self:  buy milk.

yesterday final tally

Well I made myself a nice bowl of leftover homemade cranberry sauce and settled in with my book.  I had taken several bites when I realized I was eating because it was in front of me, and because it tasted good...I'd reached "full" while pondering what to eat.  I estimate that I ate 100 calories worth.  So yesterday's total will be: 


I'm happy with that.

Feeling good about the fact that I stopped even though there was still A LOT left in the bowl.  I chose what was best for me rather than a "clean plate" and that is not a natural choice for me.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry

Snack at work this afternoon:  fresh, hot homemade bread (big slice) made by a member (200) and homemade strawberry jam (45) WOW DELICIOUS.  And a bunch of water (feeling pleased about that.)

Supper tonight:  relied on leftovers, since I worked an hour later than expected.  So it's 1 cup jasmine rice (205), 4 meatballs (300) with cream of mushroom soup (25) all over again.  

I'm still hungry.  HUNGRY!  Let's do some calculating:



Gonna take my time figuring out what else I want.

mid-day check-in

Well I resisted eating again before work.  Drank a lot of water and a big bottle of diet pepsi when I got there.

Home on my lunch break; thank God for leftovers.  Lunch is 1 cup jasmine rice (205), 4 meatballs (300) with cream of mushroom soup (25) and a great big glass of lightly sweetened tea (60).

Spending the night at my sister's house tonight...I wonder what's for supper?

Let's see where I am, calorie wise, so far today....


Okay, that's enough calories to play with. 



I slept like a rock last night.  It was great.  Hard waking up, but about 5:40 I pushed past the resistance and it was fine once I was upright.  

Water and acai berry tablets first thing...perhaps a little less gaggy than usual this morning.  Ate half a power bar (105)  before I left for the workout.  Go metabolism!

The world is buried in snow (10 inches is what I'm hearing on Facebook).  My son is out of town for a training; knowing the snow shovel waited, I did only half of my workout.  Fifteen minutes on the elliptical got me one mile; I think it said I burned 214 calories.  

Came home and spent an hour and a half shoveling.  Not gonna lie...I enjoyed that!  Piles of snow definitely bring out the child in me.  

Breakfast after my post-shoveling shower:  1 slice toast (110) with 1 tbsp Smucker's Natural Peanut Butter, chunky (105) and homemade crabapple jelly (50).  To drink, a cup of skim milk (75).  

I get to work at the Y today (love subbing)!  I suspect I'll be eating again before I go...that shovel worked up quite an appetite in me.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

snack, supper, nothing much exciting here

Afternoon snack, mostly cuz I just wanted something, but also cuz I was cold (no actual hunger involved....) - 1 cup hot apple cider (120)

Supper:  1 cup jasmine rice (205), 4 meatballs (300) with cream of mushroom soup (25) and a great big glass of water (yes, WATER!)

Total for the day so far:  2010

So I can be done for the day, or I can have a snack later. 

pre-nap summary

Worked until noon, and then worked out.  I forgot to pack a power bar, so I got a Chex Mix Turtle Bar (130) out of the vending machine at 11, to stave off the growly tummy and get me through my workout.  It clearly had A LOT of sugar in it...but the good part about that was it made me able to drink a whole bunch of water.  See, there's an up side to everything...

Did the elliptical again (note to self:  I really need to vary my workouts and not get stuck in a rut....) and I am pleased with the results.  30 minutes, 2 miles, 345 calories.  I used the best machine at the Y today, which shows me on a graph where my heart rate falls on a scale of weight loss/cardiovascular/red zone.  Watching it made me realize 155 is NOT my target zone...that's in the red.  I need to stay between about 133 and 147, according to the machine.  And I did...or, at least, when I wasn't in it, I was on the high side and not the low.  What I love about the elliptical is changing directions, incline, and resistance many times throughout the 30 minutes (and my speed too).   Drank a decent amount of water while I worked out.

Lunch was the last of that amazing pasta dish I made yesterday (390), a medium apple (80) and a handful of baby carrots (50) with a tall glass of lightly sweetened tea (60).

The combination of 3:45 a.m. wake-up, a fairly busy shift at work, the workout, my lovely hot shower, and that feast are piling up.  I think I'm headed for a nap.  

But first:  let's do a mid-day calorie tally...


Cool.  If I were a skinny girl, I'd be out of calories now; as it is, I still have roughly a thousand to play with for the rest of the day.  WOO HOO!!

My blanket is calling my name.

2nd breakfast check in

Morning snack at work:  big mug of hot tea with sugar and milk (65)

Home now for "2nd breakfast"...oh the joys of opening the Y.  Frosted shredded wheat, 1 cup (200) and 1/2 cup skim milk (45).

I'll do my workout at the Y when I get off at noon.  

Here's to flexibility.

breakfast in the very wee hours of morning

It's my morning to open the YMCA.  I have to get up at 3:45 to get ready on those days.  Oh golly that feels early.

Managed to choke down 8 oz water for the acai.  I'm Filbert on Rocko's Modern Life...."I'm nauseous, I'm nauseous, I'm nauseous...."  But I did it.  

Breakfast, by the miracle of copy/paste:  1 slice toast (Nutty Oat, which boasts "14 grams WHOLE GRAINS per slice" on the front) (110) with 1 tbsp Smucker's Natural Peanut Butter, chunky (105) and homemade crabapple jelly (50).

Let's do this day. 

**edit**I almost forgot to put the mug of skim milk on here (75)

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

end of day summary

Afternoon snacks while doing Bible study:

big mug of hot tea with sugar and milk (65)

and later

1/2 power bar (105)

I realized tonight that I was wrong to be all discouraged by 1.91 miles in 30 minutes.  I was math disabled this morning when I made that grump.  1.91 miles in 30 minutes is not off target for a 20 minute mile. 

Still not feeling water.  Pushed myself to drink it today.  The 8 oz with tonight's acai berry tablets gagged me.  Dang.  I'm nauseous again.  I gotta get over this water aversion.  

Supper at youth church was great, though not exactly "diet" food.  Ah well.  Pile of spaghetti with meat sauce (575) and a piece of chocolate cake (170) and a whole lotta whipped cream (100) with a small glass of koolaid (40).  

Safe in bed, so I am done eating for the day.

Calorie total:  2075 - Right in the range! 

yummy lunchy

Okay so I was HUNGRY and we ate early.  Cooked a nice meal; tonight I'll be gone to youth group and I like to have a nice meal with my son once a day if it can be managed.  

Main course for lunch was whole wheat rigatoni with chicken breast cooked in olive oil, marinated portabello mushrooms, onion, garlic, chunks of mozzarella, pesto, and parmesan/romano sprinkled atop.   Can you say YUM?  I cooked what I thought was 2 servings, measuring very carefully; in the pan, it was 3.  My portion of it came to 390 calories.  Putting the leftover portion into a container in the fridge was pure torture...I wanted to just feast on its deliciousness.  If I hadn't had to write it down....well, I'd have stuffed my face with it.  No lie.  Score this one a victory.

Also enjoyed a handful of baby carrots (30) and half an apple (40), along with a big glass of lightly sweetened tea (60).  

By my calculations, that puts me at 1020 calories thus far.  This is good news; tonight is youth church, and it is my biggest weekly self-control issue, where food is concerned.  I've got some calories to play with and that is GOOD.

nauseously begun but good

Workout day 2 is completed.  

When I got to the YMCA, some really fit dude was stretching next to the scale.  Seriously.  No WAY I was going over there.  But while I picked a machine and figured out where to put my water bottle, he moved on to a treadmill.  Whew.  I stepped on the instrument of torture and it gave me a horrifying number:  272

I think that is probably the highest number I've ever seen on a scale.  I don't really feel like facing it, much less telling it.  But despite the fact that I have ejected denial from my life on a number of fronts, it's still alive and well, where my weight is concerned.  I am ALWAYS shocked at how fat I am when I see pictures of me.  That's been true since way back when I weighed about 130, many lifetimes ago.  SO.  The number goes up on the page, as a part of Karen's Facing Reality program.  

Having that magic number meant I could let the elliptical machine calculate calories for me.  In my 30 minutes this morning, I went 1.91 miles (which actually discourages me tremendously, when I know a 20 minute mile is a decent WALKING goal) and I burned 313 calories.  Something I recall from working out before:  knowing the calories burnt in a workout is a lot of help when tempting foods come my way - I can look and say to myself, "I'd have to work out for an hour to make up for that" and suddenly the food is less tempting. 

In other Facing Reality notes, I was astonished/horrified to learn last night that the narrowest spot of my waist is bigger than my chest.  Holy cow.  I'm even more pear-shaped than I thought.  

Okay so anyway, I seem to be focusing negatively this morning.  Positive things:

*I did my workout today, and it was easier to go than yesterday.

*I have faced the horrors of measuring tape and scale, and lived to tell about it.
*I felt better last night at bedtime than I have in awhile. 

The acai berry tablets require 8 oz of water when one takes them (had them just before breakfast, as the instructions dictate...I hope that pre-workout half a power bar doesn't mess with the results...)  I'm still nauseous this morning.  That 8 oz was hard to get down.  Comforting myself now with a big mug of hot tea with milk and sugar (65).  Breakfast was 1 slice toast (Nutty Oat, which boasts "14 grams WHOLE GRAINS per slice" on the front) (110) with 1 tbsp Smucker's Natural Peanut Butter, chunky (105) and homemade crabapple jelly (50).

And now:  for my necessary calories daily.  I went to, which asked my age, height, weight, activity level (I chose "moderately active" - I think it fits since I am working out and also doing regular housework), and how much weight I want to lose (I chose 2 lb per week). 

My calories should be at 2377.

If I had chosen "lightly active" - which is defined as "seated and standing activities" - that number would be 1927.  

I'm liking that range of numbers, to get me started. I can definitely eat within those parameters. 

notes while the car warms up

Okay, so the battle to leave my bed was easier today than yesterday.

I spent some up-close-and-personal time with the tape measure last night.  Found a little notebook, in which I drew me as a stick person (mmm never looked so good!  LOL) and then marked measurements on that.  I'm not in the mood just now to be so naked as to put the numbers here.  

I'll decide later whether I'm putting my weight up.  I am actually filled with dread at using the scale this morning...partly because I don't want to see the number myself, and partly because the good scale at the Y is in a very public area.  Not gonna lie, there has been major whining within me about that this morning already.  

I took some time last night to get out my Old Lady Pill Holder thingy and fill it.  So I've just taken my "morning" vitamins with my pre-workout snack/meal/thingy, which is comprised of half a power bar (105) and 1/2 cup of grape/pomegranate juice (65).  That's substantially more than 100 calories, but I can't face water yet (early mornings make me nauseous, a fact ever since I was pregnant with my son 20 years ago) and I needed something to wash the vitamins down.   

Better go find my toothbrush.

Monday, January 4, 2010

supper and repentance

Supper, since I was on my own for it:  leftover lunch, which included the other half of the almond chicken (280) and about a cup of rice (240) with one cup of skim milk (90).

Total for the day:  1665

So if I get the urge for a hundred-calorie bedtime snack, I can have it.  Or not.

Day one:  feeling pretty good. 

Dear naked blog:  I am sorry I said I hate your guts this morning.

lunch out...not so bad...and some weight loss purchases

We went Chinese for lunch.  LOVE MY CHINESE!  I got the almond chicken.  Ate half, with no more than a few bites of the rice (280), along with egg drop soup (90), 2 crab rangoon (140), a wonton (55), and lots of hot tea and cold water.  Gave my eggroll to my friend.  I thought I had pretty decent restraint.  

The waiter put ALL the rice in my take-home box...I sure wish he'd have let me do that myself.  

Had 1 cup of lightly sweetened tea (1/2 cup sugar per 2 qts of tea) (30) when I got home.

Truth:  I AM HUNGRY.  

I bought a few weight-loss related items while I was out:
     *new sweatpants, one pair - I was down to one very worn out pair, which won't survive a lot of wash and wear.  Here's hoping the next pair won't have to be 4X (okay, I coulda went one size smaller but tight sweatpants are NOT a good idea at my size....)
     *a Brita water pitcher - my lovely daughter left her good water bottle when she moved out.  I'll fill it in the mornings with cold fridge water and not break the bank, nor kill the environment with piles of plastic refuse.
     *a box of power bars - thinking about what to eat before an early morning workout is TOO HARD.  I'll eat half a power bar and call it good. 
     *a bottle of Acai Berry - 14 day cleanse stuff.  Let's just say that last night my body was talking to me about considering some sort of colon cleanse process, and then today I heard a radio commercial, so I grabbed some and we'll see if it changes the way my gut has been feeling. 
     *a measuring tape - I need to make some starting marks.  I'll use that thing tonight (eek) and the scale in the morning at the Y (ugg) and then at least I'll be able to track a bit.  Color me unexcited.  

Guess I'd better calculate my calories thus far, before I consider supper (insert adding machine noises here):

1055 calories

Okay.  I'll do a re-calculation tomorrow when I have actual real weight numbers to deal with, but I was roughly this weight before and back then I think my daily allotment of calories to lose pounds was about 1775.  So!  Looks like I can have a decent supper. 

breakfast with decent restraint

giant mug of hot tea (4), w/1 tbsp sugar (45) and 1/8 c 2% milk (16)

2 medium eggs (140), scrambled, in 1 tsp butter (35) with 1/2 cup cranberry/pomegranate juice (55) and 1/2 medium apple (40)

Headed out shopping with a friend, which will mean lunch out.  I'll need to THINK. 

well begun

Okay, so I did it.  Put my coat on, stomped out the door to my semi-frozen car, and Got Myself to the YMCA.  Yes, there were lights on (curses!) and yes, there was conversation (but that wasn't so was a friend with whom I truly NEVER get tired of talking), and yes, I had to move this booty.  But I did it and survived!  YAY!

I should have weighed myself first; that was the first question the elliptical machine asked me.  I punched "quick start" and ignored all requests for other input.  I'll use a smarter approach in a day or two; today's objective was simply to Do Something.  

I did 30 minutes on the elliptical, with my pulse running between 155 and 165 (I seem to recall that was my target, back when I was trying very hard.)  I forgot to stretch before, but I got some really good stretching done in the shower afterward (hot water is my friend!)  

I should have taken a bottle of water; I was absolutely parched by 15 minutes in.  I've been observing the signs of dehydration in my body for weeks now (and doing nothing about it, btw); that's not gonna work with working out.  Note to self:  drink water, on purpose, regardless of how much you don't feel like it.

I'm glad I did it.  Yesterday was a very sedentary day (driving, church, more driving, more church, more driving, sitting at the YMCA front desk all afternoon, sitting in my recliner, and off to bed)...and I felt just downright icky at bedtime.  I think remembering that ickiness helped me this morning in the Great War to Get Out From Under the Covers.

Now I can enjoy some hot tea and watch the light on the snow outside my kitchen window while I write my gratitude list.  And consider breakfast.

Ahhhh.  That's more like it.

dear naked blog, i hate your guts

Or maybe it's just Monday morning that I hate.  Or perhaps it's -7 degrees that's making me snarly.  Mostly, it's my own utter lack of motivation that is frustrating me this morning.

I have been awake, more or less, for about an hour.  Enjoying my radio programs and arguing with myself about when to work out, all while safely under my covers.  

I don't WANT to work out this early.  I want to sit at my kitchen table and drink something hot and write my gratitude list.  My car, exiled from the garage by my son's car (which sits in front of the door with 2 flat tires), is covered in a thick layer of frost and ice.  There will be bright lights and noise at the YMCA.  People will talk to me when I feel like being quiet.  

And I'll have to move this sluggish body.  Which I don't feel like doing.  Yes, my attitude sucks this morning.  I suppose THAT is what I really hate (she whines....)

The truth is I need to work out this early.  My most successful run at getting in shape included early morning workouts.  They set my energy level at a good place.  They get me started burning calories immediately.  And they save me from my procrastinating self, who will otherwise say "I'll do it in a little while" all day long, until the day is spent.  

And the early morning crew at the YMCA have taught me a lot over the years about consistency.  Nobody hangs in there like the before 7 a.m. crowd.  Nobody has such a consistently positive attitude about pretty much everything.  I worked there for about 3 years, and left for about 3 years, and when I returned, I saw the same faces are still showing up now as did back when I started there the first time.  

Talk about a good example. 

So, my car is defrosting and I need to find a pony tail holder - my hair wasn't this long the last time around.  

Remembered advice from the trainer with whom I once worked:  eat about 100 calories or so before working out, to get the metabolism going and whatnot.

1/2 cup frosted shredded mini wheats (100) and 1/4 cup skim milk (25).

Better go find my toothbrush.