Okay so supper was an enormous pile of pasta and a generous hunk of garlic bread.
I definitely went to food and asked it to push the hurt of the world away...to the point of painfully full.
It did dull the edges.
It was the wrong place to go for comfort. I had this whole conversation with myself while eating, hearing myself say not to do it, and hearing myself answer that I would do it anyway.
Idol worship...that's really what that is. God...Christ...Holy Spirit...therein lies my comfort. Not food. I know this. Tonight, I have not practiced this.
So now I need to repent, only in truth tonight I don't feel repentance. I feel a dulled edge on the excruciating pain of a day that was just beyond my limits, and for now that is where I am.
I, my mug of hot chocolate, and my laptop are now retreating to bed. The Lord and I will work it out tomorrow...or from the tears that are returning yet again, I think maybe tonight.