Wednesday, April 15, 2009

focus, karen: do not quit

Hummmm I missed yesterday on this blog, didn't I?

It was a typical Tuesday...I was good all day till I got to youth church, and then I enjoyed my food too much. The added problem: someone put homemade chocolate chip cookies IN MY HANDS when I got there (yeah, PC, they were a little light on the chips but still.....) and I was definitely not in resistant mode.

The stuff from work continues to challenge my ability to stay on target. I am definitely grieving something I cannot even talk about here (at this point I am wondering when I will stop crying about it so much), and struggling with something else that is also confidential. Shelter work pretty consistently breaks my heart, but then there are these passages where it goes way beyond breaking. Gonna keep on walking and praying and this too shall pass...but in truth food is an even bigger struggle right now than usual. Undoing a lifetime of "food is my refuge" is, at least in my case, not a smooth or seamless process.

This morning: nice bowl of cereal 160 and skim milk 5o.

The only way to do this is one hour...sometimes on minute at a time.

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