Thursday, September 29, 2011

comparison with others ain't love

Got a reminder yesterday that comparison is a tricky thing.  

On one hand, I am pretty much continually overjoyed lately at the fun of my changing body.  As I love it well, it responds by becoming healthier, more fun to operate, and better looking.  What's not to love about that?  As long as my comparisons stick in the realm of comparing who I am with who I have's a sweet thing.

On the other hand, there is the business of comparison to others.  Last night I was enjoying a really special dinner in a really beautiful room with people I enjoy.  The room was a glass atrium.  In the last few moments of the meal, as the darkness outside deepened, I happened to glance our reflection in the glass.  There we were...two tables of people talking and laughing.  And you know what the comparative brain of Karen did?  Took time to note that I am still the most overweight person in the room.  

Ugh.  That'll knock the celebration out of ya, eh?  

Happily I am learning not to get stuck in that morass.  I did note it, and even lingered there watching and not liking what I saw for a few minutes.  But then the Lord was faithful to draw me back into a right perspective:  I have come a long way.  I am still on the journey.  The focus is to let Him teach me to love my body, and dwelling on how it's bigger or more awkward than those around me...well, that's not a loving place to hang out. 

And in the end, it's all about love.  I will continue to choose love, even when the seduction of comparison and competition rears its ugly head. 

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