Friday, August 13, 2010


Okay when last I naked blogged, it was early February, I lived thirty miles from my current abode, and I was struggling.  

So basically, everything has changed and nothing has changed at all.

Since moving to the Quad Cities, I have taken up bicycling.  I really love it.  Hauling the bike up out of the basement, to the park and back, and down into the basement adds 30 or more minutes to my ride time, so I don't get to ride more than 2 or maybe 3 times a week.  Excellent supplemental workout, but not a good core workout. 

Eating...meh.  I discover that eating less is really easy when eating alone.  But it is by no means a cure-all.  

I WAS working out at the fitness center I joined here, most or less.  Thirty minutes on the elliptical.  It's been one thing and another that has sort of wrecked that for me since late June.  I can feel the pounds coming back on.  Watching the notches change on my belt again, this time for the wrong reason.

Some of my friends from Bible study have decided we should do a weight loss/fitness/accountability group.  John, who is The Natural Leader Among Us, appointed me to come up with the name of the group.

"Don't ask me to do that, John," I tried to warn him.  In my proud position as Insistently the Worst Attitude in the Group, I was sure to come up with a smartass name and no one needed that.  But he was all persistent, like John can be, and so I gave him what he asked for:


...also known as, COWS.

I told him we need some kind of slogan about moooving the plate away.  He told me we should work in the scripture about God owning the cattle on a thousand hills.  We speculated about whether he is "the bull" of the group, as the only guy.  We imagined a graphic:  a heifer in a bikini.

No bikini - is this bovine porn?
Suffice it to say, I laughed until my belly ached.

I thought for sure the rest of the group would put their foot down and say we must come up with something reasonable, something dignified, something...better.  But it seems they are as warped as John and I are.  So!  COWS it is! 

I missed the first meeting.  I swear it was unintentional.  Went bike riding with a friend and it all just took longer by far than I thought it would.  I checked in remotely via cell phone while driving home afterward.  It sounded like they were having fun.

John, the Ever Instructional, shared some gluttony scriptures with the group at that meeting, which Sarah faithfully emailed to all of us:

Proverbs 23:2 "Put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony."
Proverbs 23:20 "Do not carouse with drunkards or feast with gluttons."
Proverbs 23:21 "for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags."
Proverbs 28:7 "The one who keeps the law is a son with understanding, but a companion of gluttons shames his father."
Darn that John and his scriptures he writes out all by himself independently of God.

John makes some good points when he's not busy clobbering us with ouchy scriptures.  He notes that if an addict came to your house and said he broke his sobriety and used, you would never laugh.  You would never commiserate in a way that said, "hey, it ain't no thang."  (Hopefully) you would be broken for him, desperate for him, cry with him, pray for him, support him in his efforts to regain sobriety.  

But food's the safe sin.  It really is.  An idolatry we can all enjoy openly, giggle about, forgive, forget.

Then John Who Is Always Right points out that we mostly tend to try to lose weight for the wrong reason:  vanity.  We want to look better.  That's not exactly the ultimate humanitarian goal now, is it?  But what if I decided I need to take care of this body so it will remain alive and healthy for ministry?  So that my time and money won't be drained away by doctors, but can be used for the cause of Christ?  What if I were to choose to see it as a stewardship issue:  I was given a body "fearfully and wonderfully made"....maybe I shouldn't run it down into semi-usefulness.  And by the way, who is watching me, following my example, being inspired or dragged down by me?  It is inevitably more people than I think it is.  

So I am resolving to focus on such things and not imagine how much better I'll look in smaller jeans.  It's a better answer to that movie star question, "Where's my motivation?"

Well that's enough for tonight.  Tomorrow's blog:  the rules of engagement.  

Let's do this thing.


  1. Yay! I heart bloggers. Who is the "John Who is Always Right?" Have I met him? lol Anyway, I'm with ya. You've inspired me to blog about this, too.

  2. Cool...can't wait to read it!

    Hey I checked out your profile. I didn't know we had "The Shawshank Redemption" in common!

    Shhhh....don't tell John I called him that...he might get a big head. ;-)