maybe zumba's not for me?

I made it back to Zumba class tonight, after missing last week due to a combination of exhaustion and an appointment I needed not to miss.  Though I had wanted to take a Zumba class for...I dunno...a year...maybe two?...and just started 2 weeks ago, at this point I'm very undecided about how long I'll stick with it.

It's not my ineptness that's discouraging me.  I knew I'd start out with no rhythm, no moves, no skills.  I knew I'd be the slow one in the back of the room, getting most of it wrong, and that idea hasn't bothered me overly much.  After all, once upon a time, I was a pom-pom girl, and I know all about starting out awful and becoming wicked awesome after consistent practice.  At 45, I don't need the class to think I'm awesome on day 1, or even on day 101.  Heck, I don't even care (though I do notice) that I'm the 2nd largest member of the class.  Gotta start somewhere.  This is not some need to be a rock star or go home.  


Part of it is the issue of the way it makes me feel like I'm Amish or something, which I'm only discussing over there and not here, cuz I'm a freaky blogger with a compartmentalized writing approach and I'm not above trying to cross-link you from one to the other.


The other part of it, quite simply:  I'm concerned that I might do damage to myself that could interfere with my running.  


Here's the thing:  in 2011 I have discovered that plain, simple, old-fashioned running is an exercise that conditions me shockingly faster and better than all the things I've tried in the past.  It works better for me than an elliptical machine or a treadmill, better than a cardio class, better than walking.  So despite that fact that most wouldn't consider me, at 2.2 miles per 30 minutes, anything like a REAL runner, it works for me and I don't want to do anything that might endanger my ability to run.


The Zumba class moves are lightning fast, and I'm a slow learner when it comes to the physical.  So the class is hustling along to the next higher, faster, harder level as I struggle to figure out the beginner steps.  Result:  3 times tonight in class I stepped down or turned in a way that made my right knee scream for mercy. 


Every time I felt a little panicked.  If this messes up my run, I am gonna be so mad!  And every time I panicked, I asked myself if this class is where I belong right now.


So I'll be pondering and praying about it this week, and we'll see if I try it again next Tuesday night.  Ehhh.  I just don't know.