My body has been telling me in a multitude of ways lately that it is not happy with my current condition. Been feeling very convicted lately ever since reading that article about the lady who followed government guidelines for healthy living...a month from hell, which left her thinner, more energetic, with fewer pain issues and ready to make at least some of the changes more permanent.
Sunday in church, Seth reminded us that "we can't, but God can." His sermon was very pointed about "at least trying" even as we realize we absolutely can't do something.
I can't lose weight. I can't exercise. I can't find motivation. I can't change my habits.
But God can change it in me. I don't suppose I've been very diligent about asking Him to do that.
How will I afford healthier foods? Lifting that up to God as well.
I haven't "begun" at all today, but I think it's time to at least start logging. Perhaps the process of really seeing how I live will be a catalyst for change.
Today:
Forced myself out of bed at 5:30, despite feeling very exhausted, because I wanted to finish getting the house ready for tonight's Bible study meeting.
I wiped the bathroom sink and toilet down, vacuumed the kitchen, and carried out the recycling. Not much effort for 30 minutes of extra available time.
Breakfast: 2 slices toast (120 calories) with crunchy Smucker's (420 calories), crabapple jelly (100 calories), and a pint of skim milk (180 calories). I suppose this is roughly twice what I should be eating.
Fought sleep really hard on the way to work. My head was nodding and eyes crossing. Worse than usual, even, and the music on the radio was having no reviving effect.
I had woke with a headache, which I ascribed to sinuses. Took a Claritin before I left. On the way to work I realized I've been 2 full days without coffee. Since the headache persisted, I drank 2 enormous mugs of coffee with lots of sugar and creamer (300 calories each for a total of 600 calories) when I got to work.
The warmth felt good...made my ears, head and neck hurt less. Tasted good. Still had a headache though.
Took 2 generic Aleve. Drank a bottle of water. The headache finally relented.
Today my skin is very dry, my ears hurt, my tummy feels huge, I feel sluggish and crabby; my joints hurt. I am distractable and unmotivated. Craving a nap.
Coworker encouraged me to try the cake in the kitchen. The very notion made me nauseous. No thank you! She feels bad - "what a curse." I feel glad - it's easier to be good when being bad makes me sick.
At 11:30, my blood sugar crashed majorly; one minute I was doing mental math, the next I was shaking and confused and could hardly summon the energy to go find lunch. This is weird since I didn't eat a carbish breakfast.
Lunch: leftover fried chicken breast (400 calories), 1/2 cup mashed potatoes (120 calories), 1/4 cup spinach with vinegar (15 calories), and 3 oreos (140 calories) from coworker. Still felt hungry afterward, but I don't know if it's a physical sensation or a general craving for comfort on a Very Uncomfortable Day.
I wanna go home.
Gotta figure out what to make for supper for the Bible study group tonight. Figuring it out is overwhelming. I don't know what I'll make.
Afternoon: 1/2 cup m&ms from coworker (440 calories). And another bottle of water.
Stopped to take the time to look up and add up calories at 2 pm. 2535!!!! And supper is yet still ahead. No wonder my tummy feels huge.
Looked up online what my calories should be, based on my current weight and activity level. Here's the bad news:
| Your indicated weight goal: 165 pounds |
| Resting metabolic rate requires 1901 calories per day (basal energy expenditure). This is the amount of calories required to maintain the body's normal metabolic activity ( respiration, maintenance of body temperature etc. ) Important Details Maximum calories/day in order to lose weight: 1876.2 (In order to lose 1 to 1.5 pounds each week or (4-6 pounds/month) you must subtract 500 calories from your estimated daily caloric needs (2376.2). This total is derived based on the activity level you chose above and your basal energy expenditure. Calories required to maintain current weight: 2376.2 |
Your BMI (body mass index) is: 47.0 Further analysis of your BMI: Morbidly Obese Desired range in pounds: 107.1 to 140.8 BMI = Weight in (kg) / Height in (meters)2 The normal range is 19-25 for females and 20-25 for males |
Okay, point 1: I am not even TRYING for the "desired range in pounds."
Point 2: Morbidly obese is no shocker. Half of me being fat is also no shocker. I can't go on the mission field with an extra entire person's worth of weight attached to my frame.
Point 3: 1876 calories....seriously! I'll fall over. Clearly regular exercise is called for.
Things I have done right so far today:
1. Choosing the all-natural peanut butter. Low sugar and better fats.
2. Skim milk.
3. Whole grain bread.
4. Water higher than it sometimes is (though I still need to increase).
5. Spinach will boost my iron, which I always need.
6. Didn't add butter to my potatoes.
7. Chicken breast is good meat.
Bad stuff I have done today:
1. Chicken should not be fried.
2. Oreos and M&Ms have zero value and too much sugar. Oreos have bad fat for sure.
3. Creamer and sugar and entirely too much caffeine all contained in those 2 huge mugs of coffee. Creamer is bad fat too.
4. Instant potatoes are almost certainly too high in sodium, as is canned spinach.
Okay, I checked sodium information. Old rules - limit to 2,500 per day. New rules - limit to 1,500 per day. Considering I've been warned by the doctor about early signs of high blood pressure impending, I suppose I should at least restrict myself to 2,000 per day. The website I looked on said a lot of people get 5,000 to 7,000 per day - more if they eat fast food regularly. How scary is that?!
The day didn't get better. I stayed mentally foggy all day, and physically was in a funk when I left work. Stopped at the grocery store to get pasta ingredients for supper. Despite Very Large Awareness of my calorie count and the unwisdom of it, I ate 2 hostess cupcakes (400 calories) and half of a 5-serving bag of Fritos (400 calories) on the way home. I reminded myself that I'd have to log it, and then I told myself quite snottily that was fine, I would log it, but I was still going to eat it.
Supper: homemade pasta (TOTAL CALORIES 845, comprised of rotini 300, sausage 100, pepperoni 100, olives 20, sauce 60, onions and bell peppers 15, mozzarella 200, parmesan 50), 3 homemade rolls (300 calories), and a decadent ice cream cake dessert (460 calories).
Bedtime: 2 cups chocolate 1% milk (340 calories)
CALORIES FOR THE DAY: 5,280.
Oh golly.
No comments:
Post a Comment