Tuesday, January 31, 2012

it's all about the cause, and not so much the effect

In my readings this morning, Oswald Chambers said

As workers we have to get used to the revelation that Redemption is the only Reality. Personal holiness is an effect, not a cause, and if we place our faith in human goodness, in the effect of Redemption, we shall go under when the test comes.
That really gets to the heart of this journey of letting God teach me to love my body (which, I never even thought of until right this second, is a matter of personal holiness...sheesh, I never saw that before...) - it's a Redemption thing, and that speaks to cause and effect.  

So if you're reading my blog and you decide to "follow my example" - be aware of this:  my example is NOT about the *effects* part of the journey.  The only part of what I'm doing that I recommend you follow and imitate is this:  ask God to teach you how to ________ (for me, that blank says "love my body" but for you it might be something different) and then step back and stay the heck out of His way while He works.  

This is not about me trying harder (though I'm not opposed to trying).  

This is not about me making a plan and working it (though I'm not opposed to plans).

This is not about any of the specifics of what has changed in my life in the past year.  Not about the running, not about the biking, not about what I do or don't put in my mouth.  Not about what the scale says.  Not about my pants size.  All of these things are effects, not causes. 

This is about growing quiet, listening for God's voice, and following what He says.  Period.  And FOR ME, that has meant an almost innumerable amount of times of having to stop and repent of trying to take control of the situation.  This situation is not mine to control.  God is leading, I am following, and any answers that don't fall under that are NOT the point of the gift that is this journey I've been on for 13 months now.

Last night I was reading one of my favorite bloggers, Jamie the Very Worst Missionary.  She was being the same kind of beautifully, brutally honest that always draws me to her writing.  I love that.  But as I read some of the hundreds of comments she received, I was struck by how Very Not Alone I have been in hating my body.  It's easier to see now, as I start to slowly step away from that hatred.  So many comments of people who can barely stand to look in the mirror.  I read them and I recognize that place - but I don't live there so much anymore.  <--The fact that this is true is clear evidence that the past 13 months have been a work of Redemption in me, because people, according to any weight chart anywhere, any standard of health anywhere, and any society except those where they worship the fat ladies...I still have a long way to go.  I'm still probably 75 pounds from even getting close to that phrase the singles searchers like so much:  "weight proportionate to height."  And it turns out, I don't have to wait until I get there to love my body.  Turns out I can have that gift NOW.  

That's a pretty nice effect - fully worth pursuing the One who is the cause.

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