5 AM temp was back down to normal this morning at 21 degrees. It was a good run. I am continually surprised as I run at how I truly appreciate and admire (read: love) what this body is able to do when I'm out there. I mean, I'm not a rock star. But this body can go out and run for 30 minutes without stopping or even slowing down. And it feels good. I can feel the muscles in my legs, butt, torso...can feel them working as I go, and it feels good. Even though I am still WAY up over the "morbidly obese" threshold.
Loving my body is not about what size it is or how it looks. A full year into following the Lord's lead on this thing, that truth is unlocking itself in me more every day.
Along the way, I read a review of a book over at the Burnside Writers Blog this past weekend that caused me to immediately order it. The book is See Me Naked: Stories of Sexual Exile in American Christianity by Amy Frykholm. Stories of of struggles (with no neat, tidy endings or clear answers) of 9 North American Protestants with brokenness where faith and sexuality intersect. The book came last night and I've read way over half of it already. Lots in there about the inability to love one's body, abundance of shame, deeply believed destructive lies, dysfunction from sources that seem unknowably mysterious, and lots of well-meaning people being miserable while trying to get it right.
It's an interesting thing to be reading, amidst the Lord doing such a huge healing work in me on these fronts. He does have interesting timing. Maybe I'll have more thoughts on this some other day.
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