Our dining room has gotten some new bowls; they are substantially smaller then the "usual" ones. I first saw only one and thought someone had lost theirs, but more and more are appearing on the rack. I love them because they help me with portion control. I make my oatmeal in them every morning, and it looks like more food in those cute little bowls.
Last night we had lasagna. This is a food which can easily send me into the way too much zone. I loves me some lasagna! My solution: the lasagna went into my tiny bowl, the tiny bowl went on my plate, and then I filled it the rest of the way with a giant salad. Felt like a FEAST and it was loving my body while I was doing it. Ahh the tricks we can play on ourselves, for the better, eh?
The ever-looser jeans I've been strapping on with the ever-tightening belt were, I thought, size 24. That was what I remembered buying. (If you're appalled that I would share an actual number, you might not have been around long enough to understand that the "naked" part of the title of this blog is about telling truth even when it's wretchedly uncomfortable.) I had forgotten that I had to return all 3 pairs right after I bought them (which was right before I moved here), and get 22s because thanks mostly to Lulu I was already losing weight. Over the weekend I noticed the size on the tag and was encouraged to drag out a pair of jeans I've had squirreled away, waiting until "someday when these might fit me."
They are 18s. They fit! Over the weekend when I tried them on, they were still WAY too tight in an embarrassing way, though I didn't have to lay down on the bed to button and zip them (which was a regular practice for me back in my early 20s when all this weight first found me). I tried them on again yesterday morning, and they had left the embarrassing zone. So I walked around in them all day, thinking gleefully to myself I haven't worn this size since sometime in my 20's, I think!
A certain size is not the goal here; loving my body is. But I'm not gonna lie: reaching a certain size is enough to make my heart dance.