Wednesday, December 28, 2011

mustn't move the shoes

My journey from bed to the street on running mornings is a very exact routine.  I do each little part of it exactly the same every day.  I get up, head for the bathroom, brush my teeth and hair, and get into my running clothes.  Then I go to the living room closet and get my shoes, reflective vest, headband and facewarmer.  I stop by the kitchen and grab a 100 calorie snack, which I eat while sitting on the couch and putting on my shoes.  I stretch (always the exact same stretches, in the exact same order).  I put on the reflective vest.  I put my glasses in a safe place where I can find them when I return (crucial, since I can't *see* them to find them).  I put on the headband and then the facewarmer, and zip my pullover neck allll the way up to seal the area around my neck.  I put my keys in my left pocket and my cell phone in my right.  I put on my skinny gloves and my big fat mittens.  And out the door I go.  

This is not so much an OCD thing as a simple coping mechanism for the fact that I just really can't think AT ALL at 4:25 in the morning.  I need everything to be the same, or I just can't figure out what to do next. 

I had taken all my running gear to Ames with me when I visited my son, so that I wouldn't miss the run (and I didn't!)  Getting home Monday night, I put my shoes in the spare bedroom, where I'm sleeping this week, having given my bed to my daughter and her hubby while they visit.  

I'm telling you...I can't change a little detail like where I put my shoes.

The end result of that was that I forgot my reflective vest this morning.  And didn't even realize it until I was almost home.  I DID notice while running that cars were getting a lot closer to me than usual...they normally go quite out of their way to give me about 15 times as much room as I actually need.  Every time one passed me at only 10 feet or so away, it startled me a little bit.  But I didn't notice WHY they might be so close (as in:  not seeing me until they were basically on top of me) until I was 5 minutes from being done.  DUH.  

Well anyway, I am certainly grateful for not getting run over this morning.  And I am more mindful than ever that I need to make sure all elements of the run gear are in their normal positions before I go to bed at night.  

In other news, near the end of my run today I ran 4 minutes continuously at a pace harder than I can remember running for that long up to this point.  Felt good, pushing me a little.  I need to do that; the dark of winter and the busy-ness of life have stolen almost all of my bike time, so I'm actually getting quite a bit less exercise now than I was a few months ago.  Which (in combination with my recent food struggles) would explain why (I'm pretty sure, at least) I've stayed at the same size (or even a wee bit bigger) for awhile now.  

The beauty of not being on a diet or a program - no need to freak out.  I will just keep pressing in to letting the Lord teach me to love my body - will just keep starting over every time I fall down...and the rest will work itself out.

I love the freedom in that.

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