Tuesday, October 18, 2011

my body wnts to run, and i have a new red dress

My body is not impressed with this break from running.  This morning my muscles are complaining to me about it.  I expected only to feel relief for the break - this discomfort is surprising to me, but it's good.  I think that reflects a shift in the conversation with myself, and it's a good one. 

Last night I came home to a wonderful thing:  a box in the mail, so big I didn't even try to pick it up.  Just dragged it in behind me.  Inside:  hand-me-downs from a nearly life-long friend.  Clothes in my size, and a few in the next size down.  Mostly stuff for work, but also workout clothes and a couple of casual items.  Beautiful clothes, several steps up from the level of quality where I generally shop.  I spent my evening trying stuff on and getting repeatedly surprised at what I saw in the mirror.  Fun stuff.

My favorite thing:  a red dress.  Ohhhhh golly!  I tried it on first and then said aloud to myself that someone needs to ask me out, cuz I NEED to be seen in this thing!  Never had anything like it.  On second thought, I don't need to worry about the getting asked out thing...I think I'll save it for our big Christmas party at work, maybe.  I don't know.  I just know:  I can't believe I have something like that!  Love it, love it, love it.  

And love not totally hating the mirror.  Once upon a time, I'd have said I could never do anything but hate the mirror.  The fun part of that transition:  honey, I have NOT arrived.  I still have very many pounds to lose before I get even close to my healthy body weight. If I were to get specific about the problems with individual parts of this bod, I could wax long and eloquent...but as a whole, I've found the place of loving my body right here and now, right where it is.  

How did God do that?  

I don't know, but I'll keep embracing the process and let Him do it some more!

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