My body is not impressed with this break from running. This morning my muscles are complaining to me about it. I expected only to feel relief for the break - this discomfort is surprising to me, but it's good. I think that reflects a shift in the conversation with myself, and it's a good one.
Last night I came home to a wonderful thing: a box in the mail, so big I didn't even try to pick it up. Just dragged it in behind me. Inside: hand-me-downs from a nearly life-long friend. Clothes in my size, and a few in the next size down. Mostly stuff for work, but also workout clothes and a couple of casual items. Beautiful clothes, several steps up from the level of quality where I generally shop. I spent my evening trying stuff on and getting repeatedly surprised at what I saw in the mirror. Fun stuff.
My favorite thing: a red dress. Ohhhhh golly! I tried it on first and then said aloud to myself that someone needs to ask me out, cuz I NEED to be seen in this thing! Never had anything like it. On second thought, I don't need to worry about the getting asked out thing...I think I'll save it for our big Christmas party at work, maybe. I don't know. I just know: I can't believe I have something like that! Love it, love it, love it.
And love not totally hating the mirror. Once upon a time, I'd have said I could never do anything but hate the mirror. The fun part of that transition: honey, I have NOT arrived. I still have very many pounds to lose before I get even close to my healthy body weight. If I were to get specific about the problems with individual parts of this bod, I could wax long and eloquent...but as a whole, I've found the place of loving my body right here and now, right where it is.
How did God do that?
I don't know, but I'll keep embracing the process and let Him do it some more!