Tuesday, November 27, 2012

some mondays, i lose the battle

If you've followed the naked blog for long, you know that Mondays are difficult for me, and doubly so Mondays after a longer-than-usual weekend.  I am ALWAYS hungry all day long on Mondays.  I assume it's my body's response to me messing with my usual schedule and routine.  I always run late for work on Monday morning.  My muscles are always more stiff when I stretch for the run on Mondays.

Yesterday was no exception, and it contained the multiplier of the Thanksgiving weekend behind it.  I was glad to still make it out for my run, and didn't bother to be frustrated that it was one of the slowest runs I've done in awhile.  I had forgotten to pack snacks, so I worked away at my desk all morning feeling voracious to the point of distraction.  A friend invited me to join her for lunch, so I stuffed my rice and beans in the fridge and joined her in our Bistro there at work, where I can get a nice bowl of soup for about $2.  

The soup is a perfectly adequate lunch.  It is hot.  It is big.  It is unfailingly yummy.  It is varied.  What's not to like about soup for lunch?

We have new dishes there now, purchased to be quieter when handled and banged about.  The big bowls are shaped different than the old, noisy big bowls.  I am pretty sure they are not ACTUALLY smaller.  But they give the illusion of being smaller.  When the bowl came, I saw it and instantly thought "smaller."  And KNEW it was almost surely a visual trick.  Still, for whatever reason, my stupid animal impulses were stronger than my knowing-better brain, and I couldn't get past the feeling that lunch wasn't "enough."  Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Then I followed that mis-perception with a bad choice - I asked for the free cookie basket.  One can ALWAYS have free cookies in the Bistro, just for the asking.  Unfortunately, they don't bring you A cookie.  They bring a basket, you know, for the table.  A generous and sweet thing to do.  And - Monday sufferer extraordinaire that I was - I reached into that basket more times than I want to write here.  

Doh!  This is the naked blog!  That means I gotta tell the truth.  


I might have eaten something like 5 chocolate chip cookies for dessert yesterday at lunch.

Yes, this makes me want to cuss like a sailor. 

Nothing to do, of course, but pick up and do better going forward.   Anything else is self-sabotage, and I think yesterday's lunch was a sufficient dose of THAT, don't you?

Grace.  It's everything.  Today's goal:  not abusing that grace.

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