Wednesday, September 12, 2012

sometimes love means changing your mind

I was all dressed this morning (even had on the silly reflective vest) and was already stretching when I realized my foot really hurts.  

This is not the same foot that I showed to the podiatrist awhile back.  It's the OTHER one.  Since it's the same pain, I conclude that apparently I have arthritis in BOTH feet.  Grabbing my foot for the stretch, even in a shoe, was painful.

I know what I did.  Remember me leaving my running shoes in Iowa while I went to Chicago?  Well, I still walked around A LOT in shoes I shouldn't even own, much less walk long in.  (In my defense, THEY LOOK GREAT with the dress I was that a defense?  No?  Erm....)

So the foot has bothered me on and off since then, but not on a running morning before now.  

I first decided to go anyway.  It's REALLY HARD for me to change my mind, once I set something in motion.  And I was craving the run.  And I was already stretched.  And, did I mention, I already had on the silly reflective vest?

But then came the reminder, really just as I was about to walk out the door, that the doctor said, "If it hurts, don't run on it."  I remember how marvelous that was, the simple truth that my body knows how to tell me if I should go or not.  It didn't feel marvelous this morning.  It felt frustrating.  Still, I remembered....

...this is not about "being tough"'s about loving my body. frustration was because I wanted the good feeling of running.  It's no more right to do THAT, just to feel good, than it is to eat a second helping of something bad for me or go indulge in any other uhhh sensory overindulgence "just to feel good."  THAT IS NOT LOVE.  And this is about loving my body.

...I won't die from changing plans at the last minute (part of me is never quite sure, on that point.) 

So I chose love.  I stayed home, got out the bag of frozen peas, and iced the snot out of my foot.  

I didn't do it with a good attitude, at first.  I was mad, I was whiny, I was frustrated, I was whiny, I was impatient, I was whiny.  

Thank God for the perfectly wonderful man He has placed in my life, who happened to be talking to me, and happened to turn my brain away from the whine into remembering the other ingredient, besides rest and ice, that will help with my foot pain:  prayer.  

Uhhh.  Oh yeah!  

So I'm on it.  And I'm done whining.  Sometimes love means being willing to change your mind.  Today, I chose love for this body - more precisely, that foot.  

If you need to do that too, may you do it with more grace than me. 

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