Wednesday, September 19, 2012

regaining lost momentum, and choosing life

I missed some runs last week, as the arthritis in my feet acted up.  And then I missed my run Monday, because I was running on something like 4 hours of sleep.  So this morning, it was EXTRA DELICIOUS to get out there in the awesome chilly fall pre-dawn.  

Here's the thing about missing the run for a period of time:  you lose momentum.  I started out feeling heavy as lead.  Running in my old heffalump heavy steps.  Feeling too tired to possibly finish the thing.

I was patient.  I know it takes me a full half-mile to really get in the running groove anyway.  And I was aware of the missed runs.  

It didn't get better at the half-mile mark.  

I have a choice, when my body doesn't feel all the jubilation at running that my mind and spirit do.  I can feed the voice of "I can't" by speaking its language, thinking its thoughts, considering it as a valid option.  If I do that, chances are good that it's right....I CAN'T. 

Or I can feed the voice of "I love my body" by refusing the "I can't."  I can be patient with me and speak kindly to myself.  I can choose to be satisfied with just finishing, and not worry about beating my recent speed.  I can keep putting one foot in front of the other, knowing that all I've done is lost a bit of momentum, and the only way to regain, this is deep, people...KEEP MOVING! 

I chose the latter.  Finally, just before I turned around at the halfway point (so, around 1.25 miles), the heaviness left me and I was able to step more lightly and pick up the pace.  Evidence of how much this was true:  turning around meant running UPhill...but I still bounced.  HALLELUJAH, THANK YOU JESUS, WOO HOO!!!  

Really in life I find that we have that choice all the time.  I can feed the voice of insecurity or the voice of trust.  I can feed the voice of resentment or the voice of blessing.  On and on.  What I decide to say aloud and inside my head, where I decide to allows God to work, or blocks Him, depending on what I choose.

I think THAT is what the whole "I set before you life and death....choose life" is about (ummm somewhere in the first 5 books of the Bible, and I'm in too much of a hurry to find it right now).

As for me, today, I choose life.


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