I missed some runs last week, as the arthritis in my feet acted up. And then I missed my run Monday, because I was running on something like 4 hours of sleep. So this morning, it was EXTRA DELICIOUS to get out there in the awesome chilly fall pre-dawn.
Here's the thing about missing the run for a period of time: you lose momentum. I started out feeling heavy as lead. Running in my old heffalump heavy steps. Feeling too tired to possibly finish the thing.
I was patient. I know it takes me a full half-mile to really get in the running groove anyway. And I was aware of the missed runs.
It didn't get better at the half-mile mark.
I have a choice, when my body doesn't feel all the jubilation at running that my mind and spirit do. I can feed the voice of "I can't" by speaking its language, thinking its thoughts, considering it as a valid option. If I do that, chances are good that it's right....I CAN'T.
Or I can feed the voice of "I love my body" by refusing the "I can't." I can be patient with me and speak kindly to myself. I can choose to be satisfied with just finishing, and not worry about beating my recent speed. I can keep putting one foot in front of the other, knowing that all I've done is lost a bit of momentum, and the only way to regain momentum...is...wow, this is deep, people...KEEP MOVING!
I chose the latter. Finally, just before I turned around at the halfway point (so, around 1.25 miles), the heaviness left me and I was able to step more lightly and pick up the pace. Evidence of how much this was true: turning around meant running UPhill...but I still bounced. HALLELUJAH, THANK YOU JESUS, WOO HOO!!!
Really in life I find that we have that choice all the time. I can feed the voice of insecurity or the voice of trust. I can feed the voice of resentment or the voice of blessing. On and on. What I decide to say aloud and inside my head, where I decide to meditate...it allows God to work, or blocks Him, depending on what I choose.
I think THAT is what the whole "I set before you life and death....choose life" is about (ummm somewhere in the first 5 books of the Bible, and I'm in too much of a hurry to find it right now).
As for me, today, I choose life.