Still moving imperfectly but happily along this journey of letting God teach me how to love my body. Some successes: times I've gone to bed hungry, cuz I knew I had enough for the day and I woudn't die from not having a snack. Getting out and moving - riding the bike, walking, etc. Eating what's reasonable, and not what my appetites say I oughta get. Completely bypassing ridiculous foods offered to me between meals - just pure straight sugar/carb garbage, nothing but bad for me and it seems I am learning to respond to "bad for me" now even when "yummmmm" is shouting loudly inside my head.
Noting little happy measures of these obediences: the new belt that I just bought? Already had to move in a notch tighter. Shirts that used to be tight on me are now biggish. Those things aren't the point of the story, but they are definitely fun little niceties.
Less-than-successes: times I went down for a cuppa hot tea at bedtime, and teabags were gone but milk was not...so I had bowls of granola cereal. NOT a good bedtime choice. Cleaning my plate at lunch, when guys on the line gave me too much. I gotta outgrow the "clean plate club." I can TAKE less and eat it...but dude...if it makes it onto my plate, it ends up in my stomach. No good. Room for growth in my journey.
A friend in my age bracket has taken up running (or, as she calls it, "plodding.") Reading her accounts of this always inspire me. When I moved to Chicago, my son told me my exercise plan should include a walking/running routine. Like, walk 3 minutes, run 1, repeat, etc. Over time, the objective is longer running jags. Meanwhile it maximizes the fitness effect of the walking time, as the pulse stays higher. This is a great plan. I have meant to do it since I arrived. I have not done it.
I think the excuse at first was Chicago was too cold in November/December/etc. And then meanwhile I shrunk. So more recently, the excuse has been my sweat pants will fall off my body, I think, if I try to move quickly in them - they are clownishly large on me. So...what was I gonna do...run in jeans? NOT!
Today I went to Old Navy to get $1 flip flops. Along the way, I "happened" onto great sales on: great pants for running (made of that stuff that "wicks the moisture away"), "performance" socks (extra padded on the bottom, supposedly for support, light weight, "wicking" material, mesh on top, oy vey), and of course the all-important sports bra. I already have shoes that should work, passed along to me by my sister, and I found a good shirt at the free store last month. I also figure I can use my water backpack thingy that I use on the bike so I don't dry out. The only think I lack is maybe a sweatband, but I can just try this and see if sweat actually runs into my eyes like it used to on the elliptical.
(And can I mention this little bit of joy? I bought my clothes in the regular section. I mean, off the same rack where the smalls and extra smalls are sold. Yes, I bought the biggest stuff in that section. BUT it has been yeeeeeeeeeeears since I bought anything off a rack that wasn't all plus-size stuff. That was FUN.)
So basically I have removed my excuses. I didn't plan this at all...just stumbled into a good sale and kinda bought on auto-pilot. So I'm guessing this is more answered prayer - the Lord is pushing me forward on loving my body. Tonight I asked a friend to nag me and ask once in awhile whether I'm putting all those workout clothes to work.
The other thing is, I resolved when I moved here to use the stairs mostly and the elevator only when it was necessary. Shortly (pretty much immediately) after arriving, I amended that plan to climbing to the 6th floor at least once per day, and let myself ride the elevator the rest of the time. After awhile, I mostly stopped using the stairs, cuz I breathe and blow so hard it makes my throat sore when I do more than 3 floors. This week, I heard how someone else manages this: we have an "east" and a "west" stairwell. She climbs a set number of floors, then walks the hall to the "other" stairwell (giving herself a chance to catch her breath a bit while walking a flat floor), then does a few more floors, more of the same, etc. I CAN DO THAT. I need to do that. I need to stop using the elevator so much. I have a built-in easily accessible workout, and I am burdening the elevator system instead. Writing down my need to do that here. Hoping this will push me into praying more consistently about that and obeying the leading I get.
Signing off, hungry at bedtime but excited about possibilities.