Last night I picked up race packets for myself and my friend with whom I am running the Bix. The very size of the packet pickup helped me understand on a whole new level, how huge this thing is going to be. All I can say is WHAT A PARTY.
I've been wobbling back and forth the last couple of weeks between excitement and dread. Between, "I'm gonna do it!" and "What the hell have I gotten myself into?!" Between trying to get ready, and trying to brace myself for my 2nd-ever-in-life ambulance ride (my first having been after an excessively dramatic fall off an overheated barrel racing horse when I was something like 11 years old).
This morning, I'm feeling good. I'm excited. Butterflies in the stomach. Joy that the weather man says it will be 70 degrees tomorrow morning at race beginning, and 80 around the time we should finish. That is SOOOOOO much better than the 110 my worst imagination was saying it would probably be. Mercy, mercy, mercy...THANK YOU LORD!
A very supportive friend who wishes to remain nameless has decided to bless me with new racing duds. I went earlier this week to do some pre-shopping so that getting them tonight wouldn't take so long. I went into a store I never go to - one I've avoided like the plague because just driving by it made me feel: fat. poor. highly unattractive. I don't even know if they HAVE a "plus size" section and I've never had the nerve to go in and find out. But my friend said they had a good sale going on, so...I went.
And I still don't know if they have a plus size section, cuz the stuff in the "regular sizes"...well, it fit me.
And the mirrors in the dressing room...well, they didn't make me want to go home and get under the covers and cry myself to sleep. They didn't even make me want to stop at Whitey's for an ice cream numb-my-emotions session. THEY WEREN'T EVEN MEAN TO ME AT ALL. I mean, I'm still me in the mirror. And the things I've been hating on my legs about all these 36 years or so are still true. But I look and I see progress, change, hope.
I said this in my grat list yesterday and I'll repeat it here this morning: I don't know what has changed more, my body or my mind.
If you've read along for a little while or a long time and aren't yet asking God to teach you how to love your body...WHY NOT?!
I mean, maybe "being on a diet" will get you skinnier. Maybe. Maybe "having an exercise plan" will increase your fitness. Maybe. But what if you could just let Him teach you to love your body, and those things would come along as A BONUS?
From one whose mind is daily being blown by the process, I couldn't recommend it more highly. PLEASE THINK ABOUT IT.
End of sermon.
much love!
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