focus....focus....

Okay, so...switching to a more spiritual-based focus for the blog...why is that hard?!  Journaling my intake is easy.  It also ain't exactly scintillating reading (though of course entertainment is not the primary goal here...just a hoped-for side benefit). Most importantly, while an eating journal is an important tool, I just think making that the point of the blog...discounts the spiritual aspect we are going for with our COWS approach.

My eating has been on track.  And it has mostly not been hard at all.  This might be in part because of the allowances I made myself (a grace day, 3 sweets a week) but I suspect the ease actually is spiritually based as well.

Here's the thing:  I'm kind of in a Zone of Awesomeness in life right now.  A decade-long dream is coming true in my life - one that I surrendered as dead and gone just 8 months ago.  So the usual craving/hunger in me to be filled...well, just now it ain't there.  I'm like...filled to overflowing with Jesus stuff, you know?  I'm kind of in first love/head over heels/starry-eyed mode for the moment.  There's no room just now for the empty yawning space that screams "fill me with carbs and hurry up about it!"  

It feels kind of like a cheat, you know?  Because I'm not tormented by fantasies of foods that aren't on my eating plan.  If it's not hard, it can't be good...that's not necessarily true, but it's what the part of me that whispers, "Karen, you surely must be cheating" believes.

I think I'll enjoy it while it lasts, this business of being overstuffed with Jesus mode.  What I know about life and about me is that it tends to be cyclical...and sooner or later life will most likely find a way to derail my feeling of fullness that currently so skillfully holds the hungry beast within me at bay.  I think I need to practice good habits HARD now and hope filling with Him gets to be enough of a go-to that I don't fall off into oblivion whenever it the stuff next hits the fan.