Well, I'm all packed up and ready to leave in the morning for Cornerstone Festival. I've been loving this festival for about a decade now, but I can't wait to experience it from an "inside" perspective! Will be totally offline until Independence Day - good health and happy days to you all!
This morning, along with about 7,000 other people, I walked the Greater Chicago Food Depository Hunger Walk. It was a 5K along the banks of Lake Michigan. Perfect weather, beautiful day, big excitement everywhere.
I was really pleased to discover I could ride the 22-mile Critical Mass Ride last night, not getting home until 11ish, and still be up to leave at 7 AM to walk a little over 3 miles (which, if you didn't already know, is what 5K translates to). The walk was gentle because of the simple fact that there were so many of us of all ages, sizes, and abilities sharing the path. I think it took us about an hour and 15 minutes, all told.
All of this was a very nice warm-up for Cornerstone - never any lack of walking there. I've packed my running clothes, in hopes that I will squeeze in some runs. And I'm ready to be gracious with myself if I find tent living doesn't lend itself to Karen moving in such an intentional way.
Steady as she goes. Blessings, all!
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
doing the rocky victory dance a bit
This morning was my last walk/run for this week, since I have those two events I mentioned yesterday coming up in the next 2 days. It seems I'm developing a habit of pushing a bit more on the last run of the week. How very unlike me!
Most mornings I just head down the path and turn around at the halfway point. This morning, instead I took a sort of loopish path. I figured out at what should have been the halfway point that I wasn't halfway there. This opened up a great possibility for pushing...
So this morning's route looked like:
*5 minutes of walking to warm up
*90 seconds of jogging
*90 seconds of walking
*3 minutes of jogging
*90 seconds of walking (this should have been 3 minutes - it was an oopsie...sooo hard to think at that hour...)
*90 seconds of jogging
*90 seconds of walking
*8 minutes of jogging <---CHECK IT OUT!
*5 minutes of walking home
*and up 6 flights of stairs to my room
I am stunned to find that I am really enjoying this C25K thing. Weird. But good!
Most mornings I just head down the path and turn around at the halfway point. This morning, instead I took a sort of loopish path. I figured out at what should have been the halfway point that I wasn't halfway there. This opened up a great possibility for pushing...
So this morning's route looked like:
*5 minutes of walking to warm up
*90 seconds of jogging
*90 seconds of walking
*3 minutes of jogging
*90 seconds of walking (this should have been 3 minutes - it was an oopsie...sooo hard to think at that hour...)
*90 seconds of jogging
*90 seconds of walking
*8 minutes of jogging <---CHECK IT OUT!
*5 minutes of walking home
*and up 6 flights of stairs to my room
I am stunned to find that I am really enjoying this C25K thing. Weird. But good!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
tiny bowls and smaller jeans
Our dining room has gotten some new bowls; they are substantially smaller then the "usual" ones. I first saw only one and thought someone had lost theirs, but more and more are appearing on the rack. I love them because they help me with portion control. I make my oatmeal in them every morning, and it looks like more food in those cute little bowls.
Last night we had lasagna. This is a food which can easily send me into the way too much zone. I loves me some lasagna! My solution: the lasagna went into my tiny bowl, the tiny bowl went on my plate, and then I filled it the rest of the way with a giant salad. Felt like a FEAST and it was loving my body while I was doing it. Ahh the tricks we can play on ourselves, for the better, eh?
The ever-looser jeans I've been strapping on with the ever-tightening belt were, I thought, size 24. That was what I remembered buying. (If you're appalled that I would share an actual number, you might not have been around long enough to understand that the "naked" part of the title of this blog is about telling truth even when it's wretchedly uncomfortable.) I had forgotten that I had to return all 3 pairs right after I bought them (which was right before I moved here), and get 22s because thanks mostly to Lulu I was already losing weight. Over the weekend I noticed the size on the tag and was encouraged to drag out a pair of jeans I've had squirreled away, waiting until "someday when these might fit me."
They are 18s. They fit! Over the weekend when I tried them on, they were still WAY too tight in an embarrassing way, though I didn't have to lay down on the bed to button and zip them (which was a regular practice for me back in my early 20s when all this weight first found me). I tried them on again yesterday morning, and they had left the embarrassing zone. So I walked around in them all day, thinking gleefully to myself I haven't worn this size since sometime in my 20's, I think!
A certain size is not the goal here; loving my body is. But I'm not gonna lie: reaching a certain size is enough to make my heart dance.
Last night we had lasagna. This is a food which can easily send me into the way too much zone. I loves me some lasagna! My solution: the lasagna went into my tiny bowl, the tiny bowl went on my plate, and then I filled it the rest of the way with a giant salad. Felt like a FEAST and it was loving my body while I was doing it. Ahh the tricks we can play on ourselves, for the better, eh?
The ever-looser jeans I've been strapping on with the ever-tightening belt were, I thought, size 24. That was what I remembered buying. (If you're appalled that I would share an actual number, you might not have been around long enough to understand that the "naked" part of the title of this blog is about telling truth even when it's wretchedly uncomfortable.) I had forgotten that I had to return all 3 pairs right after I bought them (which was right before I moved here), and get 22s because thanks mostly to Lulu I was already losing weight. Over the weekend I noticed the size on the tag and was encouraged to drag out a pair of jeans I've had squirreled away, waiting until "someday when these might fit me."
They are 18s. They fit! Over the weekend when I tried them on, they were still WAY too tight in an embarrassing way, though I didn't have to lay down on the bed to button and zip them (which was a regular practice for me back in my early 20s when all this weight first found me). I tried them on again yesterday morning, and they had left the embarrassing zone. So I walked around in them all day, thinking gleefully to myself I haven't worn this size since sometime in my 20's, I think!
A certain size is not the goal here; loving my body is. But I'm not gonna lie: reaching a certain size is enough to make my heart dance.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
fun stuffies ahead
Couple of fun opportunities happening this week that will be very good for my body as well as being experiences to remember:
Friday night some friends and I are riding the Chicago Critical Mass. A short summary of that: hundreds of bikes taking over the streets of Chicago, making their monthly statement along with other riders worldwide that "bikes are traffic" and pushing a bit for greener, healthier living than life inside one's car. It looks to be a party on wheels. My sneak preview at the proposed route for this month shows it to be a 22-mile route. I'm gonna break my record again! YAY!
Saturday morning some of us from my house are participating in the Greater Chicago Food Pantry's 26th Annual Hunger Walk. This is a 5K, which I am confident I can do, thanks to the C25K training I've been doing and 8 months of Chicago living.
I'm awfully glad to be doing these things; next week is Cornerstone Festival and I'm feeling a little unsure how doing my C25K routine will work out in a giant hayfield, with my body sore from sleeping on the ground in a tent in what looks to maybe be a lot of rain. Happily, I know I can just pick up where I left off when I get home, if the Fest trashes my routine for the week.
I'm not being ironic nor sarcastic when I say: my life is awesome.
Friday night some friends and I are riding the Chicago Critical Mass. A short summary of that: hundreds of bikes taking over the streets of Chicago, making their monthly statement along with other riders worldwide that "bikes are traffic" and pushing a bit for greener, healthier living than life inside one's car. It looks to be a party on wheels. My sneak preview at the proposed route for this month shows it to be a 22-mile route. I'm gonna break my record again! YAY!
Saturday morning some of us from my house are participating in the Greater Chicago Food Pantry's 26th Annual Hunger Walk. This is a 5K, which I am confident I can do, thanks to the C25K training I've been doing and 8 months of Chicago living.
I'm awfully glad to be doing these things; next week is Cornerstone Festival and I'm feeling a little unsure how doing my C25K routine will work out in a giant hayfield, with my body sore from sleeping on the ground in a tent in what looks to maybe be a lot of rain. Happily, I know I can just pick up where I left off when I get home, if the Fest trashes my routine for the week.
I'm not being ironic nor sarcastic when I say: my life is awesome.
Monday, June 20, 2011
i think this is called a near-miss
A shout-out to a reader who hit me up yesterday morning - I realized after talking to you that I DO blog here in the mornings! Silly me! I really was thinking I only did that in the evenings...therein lies the danger of blogging before one is fully coherent, I guess...anyway, thanks for reading!
I almost skipped the workout this morning. I had realized last night after I was snuggled in and 99% asleep that I hadn't checked the C25K schedule to see what this week's routine was. So I resolved to just wake up early (before the alarm - I find it to be a continuous miracle that I can just *decide* to wake up before the alarm and my body knows what to do) and check before I went.
Logging onto the computer this morning at 5 AM, I felt compelled to check the weather...maybe it was raining? The internet told me the rains would start somewhere between 6 and 7. Maybe it will rain on me. I almost stayed in bed. It took some more of that quick, decisive action to swing my legs over the side of the bed and get moving, before temptation could suck me back under the covers.
The morning was gorgeous - gray and misty. I'm so glad I got out in it. Now I am safely home, showered, and thunder is booming outside my window, accompanied by the patter of rain. AND I DIDN'T MISS MY WORKOUT. Awesomeness.
This week's C25K schedule looks like:
5 minutes of brisk walking to warm up
90 seconds of jogging
90 seconds of walking
3 minutes of jogging
3 minutes of walking
90 seconds of jogging
90 seconds of walking
3 minutes of jogging
3 minutes of walking
And that left me 2 minutes from home. Walked home, took the stairs up to my room on the 6th floor, only getting off the stairwell to walk the hall and breathe once, on the 3rd floor.
Hey cool! I did it! I'm not gonna lie - I was daunted at the notion of 3 minutes of jogging.
Turns out, I really CAN do it.
As my son would say, suck it, lethargy.
I almost skipped the workout this morning. I had realized last night after I was snuggled in and 99% asleep that I hadn't checked the C25K schedule to see what this week's routine was. So I resolved to just wake up early (before the alarm - I find it to be a continuous miracle that I can just *decide* to wake up before the alarm and my body knows what to do) and check before I went.
Logging onto the computer this morning at 5 AM, I felt compelled to check the weather...maybe it was raining? The internet told me the rains would start somewhere between 6 and 7. Maybe it will rain on me. I almost stayed in bed. It took some more of that quick, decisive action to swing my legs over the side of the bed and get moving, before temptation could suck me back under the covers.
The morning was gorgeous - gray and misty. I'm so glad I got out in it. Now I am safely home, showered, and thunder is booming outside my window, accompanied by the patter of rain. AND I DIDN'T MISS MY WORKOUT. Awesomeness.
This week's C25K schedule looks like:
5 minutes of brisk walking to warm up
90 seconds of jogging
90 seconds of walking
3 minutes of jogging
3 minutes of walking
90 seconds of jogging
90 seconds of walking
3 minutes of jogging
3 minutes of walking
And that left me 2 minutes from home. Walked home, took the stairs up to my room on the 6th floor, only getting off the stairwell to walk the hall and breathe once, on the 3rd floor.
Hey cool! I did it! I'm not gonna lie - I was daunted at the notion of 3 minutes of jogging.
Turns out, I really CAN do it.
As my son would say, suck it, lethargy.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
distance record and phobia broken, all in one fell swoop
I didn't sleep much this week, due to lying awake thinking about the massive changes that are fixin' to happen in my life. So last night I went to bed before dark - I think it was not quite 8:30. The beauty of going to bed ridiculously early: it makes an early morning bike ride absolutely do-able!
This morning, I broke my standing record for longest bike ride. Last year back in Rock Island, I rode along the Mississippi to the tune of a 15-mile bike ride one gorgeous Saturday. It was a big event - it took most of my day.
This morning, I rode 16 miles - from home to Grant Park and back again - and I did it before breakfast. OH YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The main reason I hadn't gone that far yet, here in Chicago, was I kept getting stuck at Navy Pier - the path seemed to only lead in a circle. I have been there a number of times, and always just turned around and came home once I got there after trying to find a way *past* it. A couple of weeks ago, though, a friend explained where I was going wrong - veering left just before Navy Pier where I should go straight (I promise, I hadn't even noticed that going straight was an option!)
The path I needed goes under an overpass and then over a bridge. It is narrow and pedestrians have the right of way on it. You have to go through I think 3 stoplights to get to the other side. I would never have figured this out if I hadn't been talked through it.
I don't think I've blogged about this here, but I have always been terrified of heights. It's not a "think it through" thing - it's a body reaction. I can't talk myself out of it. I get to high places and everything in me is screaming hold onto something, we are about to die! I've tried reason, prayer, refusing to act the way I feel...all to no avail.
This morning, I realized as I pedaled hard up the incline of the bridge on that narrow path that I was headed for a high place. On my bike. And then the coolest thing happened: I was able to decide not to be afraid. This has never, ever, EVER been an option within my reach before. I took a breath but didn't slow my pedaling even a bit, and decided without hesitation. I rode across that high bridge and my stomach didn't even lurch; I didn't even get that crazy, flailing, off balance sensation. My heart didn't race. I didn't bust out into a cold sweat. I just rode across like it was nothing at all...except of course that I was having one giant dance party inside my head at this shocking development.
So why now? Why this sudden unexpected freedom? I have a theory about that. I have been practicing not letting my body call all the shots for about 6 months now. It doesn't get to send me on binge eating frenzies. It doesn't get to keep me off the stairs. My body and I have become friends. I don't have to push it around like a bully, but we seem to have arrived at "I am in charge, and it is not" and that has happened by me choosing more or less consistently to be obedient to what the Lord shows me about how to love it.
So it is submitted to my will, and my will is submitted to God's will, and amidst all this surrender, the door was apparently propped wide open for my unexpected freedom from terror of heights.
Color me elated!
This morning, I broke my standing record for longest bike ride. Last year back in Rock Island, I rode along the Mississippi to the tune of a 15-mile bike ride one gorgeous Saturday. It was a big event - it took most of my day.
This morning, I rode 16 miles - from home to Grant Park and back again - and I did it before breakfast. OH YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The main reason I hadn't gone that far yet, here in Chicago, was I kept getting stuck at Navy Pier - the path seemed to only lead in a circle. I have been there a number of times, and always just turned around and came home once I got there after trying to find a way *past* it. A couple of weeks ago, though, a friend explained where I was going wrong - veering left just before Navy Pier where I should go straight (I promise, I hadn't even noticed that going straight was an option!)
The path I needed goes under an overpass and then over a bridge. It is narrow and pedestrians have the right of way on it. You have to go through I think 3 stoplights to get to the other side. I would never have figured this out if I hadn't been talked through it.
I don't think I've blogged about this here, but I have always been terrified of heights. It's not a "think it through" thing - it's a body reaction. I can't talk myself out of it. I get to high places and everything in me is screaming hold onto something, we are about to die! I've tried reason, prayer, refusing to act the way I feel...all to no avail.
This morning, I realized as I pedaled hard up the incline of the bridge on that narrow path that I was headed for a high place. On my bike. And then the coolest thing happened: I was able to decide not to be afraid. This has never, ever, EVER been an option within my reach before. I took a breath but didn't slow my pedaling even a bit, and decided without hesitation. I rode across that high bridge and my stomach didn't even lurch; I didn't even get that crazy, flailing, off balance sensation. My heart didn't race. I didn't bust out into a cold sweat. I just rode across like it was nothing at all...except of course that I was having one giant dance party inside my head at this shocking development.
So why now? Why this sudden unexpected freedom? I have a theory about that. I have been practicing not letting my body call all the shots for about 6 months now. It doesn't get to send me on binge eating frenzies. It doesn't get to keep me off the stairs. My body and I have become friends. I don't have to push it around like a bully, but we seem to have arrived at "I am in charge, and it is not" and that has happened by me choosing more or less consistently to be obedient to what the Lord shows me about how to love it.
So it is submitted to my will, and my will is submitted to God's will, and amidst all this surrender, the door was apparently propped wide open for my unexpected freedom from terror of heights.
Color me elated!
this is at the heart of the matter, really:
"Our desire for God is the desire that should guide all other desires. Otherwise our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls become one another's enemies and our inner lives become chaotic, leading us to despair and self destruction." ~Henri Nouwen
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